I love being alone. I love quiet. I love allowing my mind to wander, to ponder things I otherwise may not if I were in the company of others.
I am called to fellowship. I am called to walk with others. I am called to mutually build, sharpen, and love.
Yet, solitude would be my first choice. Historically, it has been. There have certainly been seasons I have been called to solitude and others where I have chosen it because I knew it was the only way for me to get to the other side of something. Despite my profound love of people and the fulfillment I have in connecting deeply with them, I love being alone.
Because of that desire, it is uncanny that I have been battling with finishing this fellowship with God in a setting of solitude. Initially, I welcomed the isolation. I thrived. Lately, though, I have felt free from that. I have felt pulled toward others, toward immersion in specific, deep fellowship. Ironically, since I felt that pull, He has been revealing through other people what He wants to me know. Fellowship is His method of choice for revelation, which is completely backward to me. (But what is backward to me, is forwards to Him (see days Nine and Ten)).
I cannot readily accept the prophetic Word given to my mentor for me (from a prayer service I wasn’t even present for!) without having fellowship with my mentor. I cannot have a repetition of another prophetic Word given to me directly from a dear friend without having fellowship with her. I cannot have confirmation of another repetitive Word given to me by a mentee without having fellowship with her. Yet I cannot find meaning in any of this if I do not invest in time alone with my Abba Father.
Fellowship is necessary to our walk because God is a God of relationship.
Solitude is necessary to our walk because God is a God of relationship.
God is necessary to our walk because He is a God of relationship.
Ultimately, it all comes back to Him. In the quiet and in the noise, in the distraction-free and the chaos, it all comes back to Him.