I haven’t worn make-up in twelve days. For each of those days, my grimy hair has been disguised by a messy bun and a headband. I have maintained a uniform of sweats and leggings, sometimes the same pair two days in a row. And for twelve days my phone has continued to chime, reminding me of appointments, engagements, and small group meetings.
All of the things my life consisted of have been put on pause, removed, or transformed. Things that help provide for my family, improve my health, and nurture the relationships I have with people I love and care about don’t look the same as they did thirteen days ago.
As I have been processing this and as each change has passed through my mind, I have noticed a pattern: each and everything that has been put on pause, removed, or transformed is temporary. They matter now, but when I die and face my Creator, is He really going to care if my hair was messy, if I wore a business suit to the Zoom meeting I had with my students, or if I didn’t go to the gym twice a week? Is He going to express disappointment that instead of taking my girls to the Eastern Market, we went for a walk in our subdivision?
He won’t. Each of those things serves as an opportunity to honor God, to do His work, and to show His love and grace to others, but I can paint my face, dress the part, stay in shape, and gallivant with my children all I want and still have a poor heart condition.
God isn’t concerned with my appearance, the events that fill my calendar, nor if I am ensuring my children are cultured.
He is, however, concerned about the condition of my heart.
(This is a good time to mention that God IS concerned with those things if they are yielding sin…but ultimately that boils down to heart condition, so please read on.)
We see His concern for our hearts so many times in Scripture.
In the rising up of David, God tells Samuel, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
In Proverbs, we read, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
And in 1 Peter, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
In a world where we are continually bombarded with instructional videos on contouring our cheeks, advertisements for new diets and work-out plans so we can get the bodies we always wanted, and posts on social media that showcase the overfilled weekends of our friends and their kids, we are tempted to fix our eyes on the temporary.
God has words for that, also:
“As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.” Proverbs 27:19
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 16:21
This, my friends, is where I am right now. With nothing on my schedule, no reason to change out of pajamas, and an inability to live as I did twelve days ago, I am evaluating what I truly treasure.
I have skin serums that reverse aging. I enjoy wearing dresses both to work and social events. My bi-weekly small group is one of my favorite events on my calendar, I miss seeing my therapist in his office instead of over a Zoom call, and I would cry tears of joy if I could see—in person—the sixteen faces that greet me in my classroom every morning. I don’t believe that having these things or wanting these things is an issue in and of itself.
But if I am treasuring these temporary things more than I am treasuring the eternal—my God and Savior—then when the temporary passes away, I am left with nothing.
And so, during these days where I am prohibited from seeking what I sought twelve days ago, I will seek what ultimately matters the most: my Heavenly Father.
Will you join me?