Washing dishes is one of my least favorite things to do. Yet every day for the last thirteen months, I have stood in front of this sink wiping remnants of dinners off of plates and sloshing suds across pots and pans. With no other avenue for cleaning what we use to nourish our bodies, I committed early on to use the time I spent washing to pray and meditate—to nourish my soul.
Often, though, I found my mind wandering. In this place—in this home that was my great-grandmother’s—I am surrounded by memories of her. I am within the place where I came to truly understand and know her heart, and as the sounds of running water and plates clanging have filled this kitchen, our past conversations have echoed in my mind.
There is so much I remember: the stories of her experiences working for CPS, of making Zurek with her grandmother, and of her world travels; the sharing of her wisdom; the hope she had for my future. But what always hits me hardest is the memory of her overabundant love. Woven with every word of those stories, every snippet of wisdom, and every expressed hope was one thing: love.
Throughout the last year, I would often feel guilty as I stacked the last bowl to dry, believing I had fallen short of what I set out to do with that time. It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized I haven’t fallen short at all; God has accomplished exactly what He intended to with each of the moments I have spent perched in front of that faucet.
While I thought my mind was wandering, He was leading it to memories that would ignite a desire to love as my great-grandma did.
Her love was always exactly what I needed, she gave it exactly when I needed it and exactly as I needed it to be given. Her love tore through mistruths I adopted, brought life to things that were buried, and breathed hope into things I had only dreamed.
Her love changed me.
The best part about her love is that it didn’t just do all of these things for me; it did it for every single person that knew her.
She exuded a unique love to everyone; she loved as Jesus did, laying her life down for others.
All of this time, as I have been meditating on the love of my great-grandmother I have been meditating on the love of Christ. Before I even understood what His love was, I was experiencing it because she allowed herself to be a vessel of it.
When loved ones pass away, we often speak of their legacy. We wish to honor it, to fulfill it, to uphold it.
What greater legacy to honor, to fulfill, and to uphold than a legacy of love.
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.
John 15:13
In memory of Estelle Sabyski
June 4, 1915 - April 14, 2020